Holding on to the desire to let go

I don't know if there are some more people like me ,who are perpetually embroiled in an existential quest to find the meaning of their lives.People who often wake up with thousands of questions, 
about where their life is heading,where would they want to go,what would they like to be...

People who experience a sense of vacuum in their lives along with the never ending struggle to fill that vacuum.

People like me,whose lives are filled with dozens of 'I don't know' responses..
And sometimes this state of not knowing feels like a thousand daggers across the heart.

I mean how can you not know?

It's your life,your space,your dreams and hopes and all you can say is 'I don't know'.

What do you want? Why do you want it?Why don't you want it?What do you want to do ?
And so many more questions with just one answer...I Don't know.

How long will this not knowing last? And to that also,you get an 'I don't know'.

So then how will you become what you need to be? Where will life take you?
Isn't it better to just give up?

You can't go with the flow because that's not something you want.You can't direct your life anywhere in particular because you don't know..

 How about giving up?Give up the struggle to do everything,to be everything you ought to be?

Simply quit everything.

That should do the trick right?

May be yes,may be no.

How about changing this quitting and giving up to letting go?

Letting go of this struggle so that you can enjoy this state of not knowing.

Letting go of this desire to know everything; because if all mysteries are disclosed to us,where's the fun in life?

Letting go of this holding on to memories,emotions,events..

Letting go of this need to be everything because we are not meant to be everything.We are meant to be what we choose to be.And if we keep holding on to so many things and identities, that we think we 'ought to be';there won't be any room left for us to be what we choose to be.

We are not defined by the labels we give to ourselves.Rather,those labels are defined by our existence.

We exist first and then these labels are attached to us.

Are we born engineers,doctors,teachers,lovers,parents,employers?

At different points in time,we choose to get attached to certain identities.

But without realizing,we start getting consumed by them.And a time comes,where that one identity that we think defines us,gets blurred.

                                                      And that's when the struggle begins.

So why not let go of this desire to struggle and win? Because when we let go of this constant struggle to become,to choose,to reach,to acquire;we breathe a little more.And with every breath,we come closer to our own selves. We start enjoying this state of not knowing and before we know,our answer to most questions turn into 'I know...'

May be there's nothing known as quitting.You can't really give up on life...can you?

Perhaps life is and will always be an endless series of 'letting go...'

For when you let go of some things,you choose to move towards some more...


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