Wandering Thoughts..

Let me be imperfect, I don't know how to please you.  Let me be broken,I don't know how to piece you. Let me not be a shadow, I don't know how to follow you. Let me be alone, I don't know how to be with you.  You can't be my light for I am not in the dark.  You can't darken my world, that's filled with my light.  You want me to walk but I know how to run.  You want me to stop, but I know how to have some fun.  I don't know how to listen to you for you don't know how to talk..  You can't listen to me because to myself.. I talk.  I go on exploring this world so full of me.. I don't have time for yours.  Perhaps you should do too and then you wouldn't be so busy with me. You can't catch me for I am the wind.. I blow, I flow and wrap everything around me in my own air. Wrapped in my own imperfections.. I am free.

I don't know if there are some more people like me ,who are perpetually embroiled in an existential quest to find the meaning of their lives.People who often wake up with thousands of questions,  about where their life is heading,where would they want to go,what would they like to be... People who experience a sense of vacuum in their lives along with the never ending struggle to fill that vacuum. People like me,whose lives are filled with dozens of 'I don't know' responses.. And sometimes this state of not knowing feels like a thousand daggers across the heart. I mean how can you not know? It's your life,your space,your dreams and hopes and all you can say is 'I don't know'. What do you want? Why do you want it?Why don't you want it?What do you want to do ? And so many more questions with just one answer...I Don't know. How long will this not knowing last? And to that also,you get an 'I don't kno...

Have you ever stopped and wondered about  what all you have to do each and every day? When was the last time you did something that you enjoy and actually enjoyed it? Don't you also think about the time when you used to be fit, active, slim, used to exercise, look good and feel good about yourself? Often when you look at yourself now,you are clouded with negative thoughts about yourself. You wonder, "Where has all the time gone? Will it ever come back? Have I become less attractive than before? Why am I putting on weight? What can I do about it? Will I be able to do something about it?" or perhaps, you have just one thought," let it be..who cares". Women are increasingly becoming more and more susceptible to hormonal imbalances and weight issues. Being overweight not only impacts their physical appearance, but psychological and emotional well-being as well. At some point or the other, all women have gone through this feeling of low self-esteem and a c...

We are humans. We love to love. There comes a time in all our lives, when we find that perfect someone. That someone, with whom we can envision our most beautiful days and the loveliest of the nights. Just the mere thought of that someone, gives a whole new meaning to life. We end up doing things we have never done.We feel those emotions which we didn't even know existed within us. Our world turns upside down and we enjoy it. Some say we get blinded by love. I say, we get consumed by love. It's not that we can't see what's happening.But just the fact that it's happening,is bigger than any other truth at that moment in time. We are all incomplete in some or the other aspect and we're always looking for completion. Finding the love of our lives, is the greatest sense of completion one feels, when that actually happens. No matter where you go, what you do, you always yearn to share a part of your life with that someone, who makes you feel ...

Sit next to me, Let me talk. For once keep quiet! Say nothing, Don’t talk. 'You talk too much!' she says, And never listen! But I do,I say.. I always listen.. To everything, that everyone says  Yet ,you say I don’t.. Do you listen to yourself she asked? I said.. I don't. And then she walked away.. Left me in a trance, I closed my eyes and gave myself a chance.. I shut out the world, The noise and the crowd; And wondered what’s within me.. A burning flame, a beating heart and a tiny voice That never screams, seldom does it shout. I sit with it every night, listening to its innocent whispers.. I shut out the world, The noise and the crowd, And hear my silence…a bit loud.. Sometimes I hear the sea waves roaring, Sometimes I see the sea waves soaring. Sometimes I hear me talking to myself, Giving me company in a world so alone; Showing me dreams, Some day I may own... I wonder why I to...

Sometimes  I ramble, Like a baby I babble. Sometimes I make sense, Sometimes everything is blurry, My emotions raging, in a hurry. Sometimes I just lie flat on my back,        Wondering what to wonder about..? Sometimes I ponder Over everything worth pondering on, For nights, leaving the switch on.. Sometimes I stay silent, For days and weeks to come. There are countless.emotions but not a single word escapes my mouth. Sometimes I'm.a bag full.of emotions, Sometimes just a few,may be one, Yet I say nothing, I like to be a wordless emotion.

A few days ago,I was talking to one of my friends, who was quite irritated.I asked him about the cause of his irritation and he said, that things with his wife were not going well. They were experiencing a sort of a communication break down, where the only things they were uttering to each other were-'kuch nahin' and 'chhodo'. He said that every time they would say something to each other, one of them would flare up and the conversation would go on a world tour! But isn't this normal? Happens with all of us at some point or the other. And it's not just with conversations,but emotions in general. We all have certain emotions that seek instinctual expression, at a given moment in time.And this is more so with emotions like anger,frustration,irritation etc.The power that these emotions have, is immense. There is an immediate relief when they are expressed as instinctively as they arise. But with that relief,there are certain consequences attached as we...