Wandering Thoughts..

I woke up feeling heavy, groggy and uneasy.And I knew,this meant, that it's time for me to write. I am not a writer per se, but I am in a way.I write only for myself. My mind races..races like a horse..like the thoughts are in a Derby race of their own and the one that wins,is the one that comes out on paper. Usually my thoughts are absurd,random,confusing, metaphorical... That's why they make sense.But it's a long process before the sense part actually comes in. A process that me and my partners in crime(pencil and paper), explore for hours and hours or sometimes days together. So just like my usual Derby days, I set out to let my winning thought take it's shape through words. Those words that I love to scribble onto my favorite diary with my favorite pencil. Every time  I sit down to write, I spend a few seconds feeling happy about my diary..the fragrance of paper,the smoothness of the sheets and the symmetrical lines...I love it! ...

How many times has it happened,that you do something and wait for someone to appreciate you? Wait for the little pat on the back or a "good job!"or "nice!"? Appreciation is a very powerful tool in the hands of people, for whom we are trying to do things. The kind of appreciation, the amount and the way it comes to us,serves as a very important benchmark that directs all our future efforts. Picture this-a child makes a birthday card for his parent and gives it to him/her,expecting words of love and appreciation like " thank you",'"this is so nice "," I'm so happy" and instead gets a reply like "it's nice but you should make it better next time". What happens to the poor child? His mind automatically thinks " Papa/Mummy didn't like it..It wasn't so nice.." And it demoralizes him/her. So the next time,the child may end up doing better and may also begin to hold this 'better...

Meeting and getting to know people, is a very good thing.Not only because it expands your social circle,but it also expands your thinking prowess.It's an unconscious time travel taking you from who you were,who you are now and who you wish to be with the time to come. Kaun kab aur kahan mil jaye,kya keh jaye,suna jaye...kya pata. And even more powerful,is the impact that all that talking, listening and discussing makes.Sometimes,the best learning is the one which we never intended to do.The best realizations are the ones,we never intended to realize.. So just like all other random ramblings of mine,this one also, is a result of one such interaction that I had with a new found friend.While we were chit-chatting about the different kind of books that we both like to read; he sent me one picture that had a few lines written on it. The one line that immediately got stuck in my head was -"I'm broken.Not out of order". At that time, it was just a fancy l...

You don't look at me like you used to You don't touch me like you used to.. Sometimes when you do, I can feel those empty stares Burning through me As though you have a lot to say But your words fail you..and me.. Sometimes your touch feels cold and aloof You hold me like you know me But have forgotten And then you rummage through the likes of me, Looking for proof. It's been long since you held me softly and wrote words of love,laughter or sadness.. I know I'm just a paper But I feel you, like no one else does I feel your joy,confusion and sometimes.. the emptiness... I know you miss me As I miss your words on me But I will wait, Till the words come to you The words..you want to find....