Because I said so!
I say so!
There are very few people in our lives,who are actually concerned with our needs and desires.There are very few moments and occasions,which make us feel special.For every such person and occasion,there are plenty of others,who are more concerned with their own selves.
We all have our own personalities,realities and perceptions.Yet, we are 'supposed to' do those things,that others deem fit for us.
It's a mindless activity and we all feel compelled to be a part of it.I don't know why we are brought up with the notion, that others are more important than us.It's ingrained in us, to forego the things that mean something to us,for the 'sake' of others.
Who are these others? Family members,friends,class mates,colleagues,bosses...
Why do they matter so much? Why do we have to compromise for someone else's comfort?
More importantly,why is our 'self' tied to that of someone else?
Strangely,we enjoy wrapping ourselves up in conditions.We also like to pass on these gifts to our children,family members,friends etc.Because that's what we have been taught and we know nothing better.
We live in contradictions.
Does it serve a purpose? Yes.
For everyone else,but our own self. This 'self' that has to be hidden, in some remote recess of our mind.
Right from what we should eat to the person we should be marrying and even to the number of kids we should be having;it's all decided as per the norms and customs of the society.
A society that is made by the people,but not for the people.A society, that thrives on insecurity and fear of loneliness.
Picture this-you're unwell,cranky and just want to be on your own.There's a distant cousin's wedding that you have to attend.
Because your parents are forcing you to go-just to show your face.
Because if you don't go,then what will people think?It won't look nice!
Why won't it look nice?
Because other people(even unrelated ones)made the effort of attending this wedding.So it's your parents' and your 'societal' obligation to at least show your face!
What's even better is, the fear that no one will turn up at your own wedding function!
Wow!Such an amazing logic!
Did I mention you were unwell?
It's amazing to see all the logic and reason in the world, simply fly out of the window. As if,it entered the wrong brain!
I'm yet to figure out the kind of pleasure and satisfaction we receive, when we make someone do something.
Moreover, what good does cutting yourself piece by piece,for the people you love serve?
True love doesn't demand sacrifice. Love never said that if you destroy your wishes,desires,needs and wants,you will be loved unconditionally.
If it's true love,it is unconditional.Love my be blind.But it's certainly not sadistic!
Yet,we fail to understand that.We believe(or like to) that we know what's the best for our loved ones.
If it were true,parents wouldn't force their choices down their kids' throat and have them think, that their life is crap.
If it were true,we wouldn't make unreasonable demands from our loved ones.
The fact of the matter is,that more often than not,we don't know what's best for us.
We all are a part of a vicious societal cycle.We base our choices and decisions on past precedents.Someone has already done or said something.It's easier to follow, that to find your own path.Right?
We study all 'safe subjects' because like everyone else,we want a 'secure future'.We marry at the 'right age' because everyone else has done that.We host 'have to' events and attend them too!
We forget we have a life.We forget we have our own wants and needs.We forget ourselves,because someone else is more important than us.We put situations and people on a pedestal and then complain about the struggle that ensues.
Being selfish is not correct.Yet,being self-interested is.