Yin and yang
‘You think you can tie me down??? You think you can keep me locked up inside this dark room...this.. corner of your lifeless mind...And I won't get out?
Hah..do you have even the slightest idea of who I am and what all I'm capable of...?’
‘What the..!What are you doing??Leave me..!!’
‘Phew! That crazy woman’, exclaimed an exasperated Suprema.
‘All she does is rave and rant about what she wants and what lengths she can go to, to achieve even her most carnal desires! Doesn't she understand how absurd this is?!No respect for morals, society, ethics...nothing! And then she expects that I'll let her roam around freely and open her mouth whenever she wants.Oh well...That’s so not happening!
Stupid Idita! It’s better she stays locked up in this remote recess. And now that I've gagged her as well, I won't have to hear her nonsensical screams’.
Just as Suprema was locking up the door of that tiny, dingy room where she had locked up her annoying and almost impossible to deal with sister, her phone rang.
‘Hey!’she said in an almost relieved tone. She was glad to hear Egoisha’s voice. Idita, Egoisha and Suprema were sisters. But their equation and relationship was strange and almost difficult to fathom.
Idita was the youngest of the three. Despite the fact that she was now a full-grown adult, she continued to behave like a 3 year old! Her demands were supreme. When she wanted something, there would always be a do or die situation for her! And it would always irk the daylights out of Suprema-the eldest one.
Suprema had always been the correct one out of all three. She understood right and wrong like no one else did. And it never went down well with Idita.
Caught between their struggle was poor Egoisha. She loved her sisters dearly and she also knew that she was the only one who could play mediator between the two and resolve the situation.
However,for the past couple of months,Idita’s ludicrous desires were driving suprema insane! It was about time that some action was taken to balance the situation. But before she had any chance to work things out, Idita and Suprema had clashed and everything came crashing down.
Suprema had locked up Idita because she no longer, could handle her insane demands and ways of achieving her means.
Egoisha was shocked! ‘What have you done??She’s your sister for god’s sake! You know how she is-a little rash and immature! It’s not like she wants to harm anyone. But she doesn’t understand how the world works! You can’t just lock her up because she never listens to you!’
‘It’s easy for you to say all this because you don’t have to babysit her 24/7!’ Suprema exclaimed.’ You are off the whole day enjoying your worldly pursuits, while I have to sit here and make sure she
Egoisha sat there patiently, listening to an exasperated suprema venting out her frustration.
‘But locking her up is no solution Suprema... Just like forcing her to confine to rigid standards of morality, rules and regulations, your overbearing oughts, shoulds and musts...’
‘I’m going to get her out and we need to sort this out.’
By the time Idita was out of the room, she was livid. The minute she saw Suprema, she flung herself at her as if she wanted to kill her! But she was stopped by a stern looking Egoisha.
There they were-the three sisters amidst a dead silence. Trying to gauge the situation, to come up with the best solution. They knew it was only Egoisha who could open the knots without hurting each other.
“Damini!! Wake up!! You’re getting late for work!”
‘Oh hell!’ I woke up with a start! It was my mother screaming from the other end of the house.' What was this dream... Who were these weirdly named females?’ I muttered to myself.
‘Oh crap! I have a presentation today in front of that demon of a boss, who I could just stab in the heart!! Or may be, I could give a really good presentation and shut him up for good!’
It was then that I realised, that those weird females in my dream, were no one else but me and my struggle to choose between my instinctive desires and socially appropriate actions, which may run contrary to what I think, feel and want...
Life will never be a clear black or white.Choices will have to be made.Compromises will have to be done.If I choose to kill someone I despise,I will have to bear the consequences.But will it solve my problem? In every situation, I have a choice to make.A 'wrong' to commit or a 'right' to do.I can switch on the light or mull over my sorrows in darkness.But if I can find a balance, choose a room with dim lighting; may be , I can make things better.I don't have to be Idita or Suprema all the time.I need my rationality,my Egoisha to tell me what's the best alternative in a situation.
So,by coming up with a rational and logical solution to my problem, I was able to calm my inner child and my internal parent.
I had managed to create an internal balance.
My yin and yang were in place.